FROM JUDAISM to CHRISTIANITY

by

F. C. Gilbert

CHAPTER V

FAILING HEALTH, AND LEAVING HOME

1. My health now took a turn for the worse. After a time it was found that my lungs were badly affected, and I was obliged to take much cod-liver oil, England’s great antidote for consumption. Quarts and gallons were consumed, and still I found no relief. One hospital after another was sought for help, but all in vain. I was continually getting worse, and it seemed as though I was not long for this world. Some of my Jewish friends became interested in me, as my father, being very poor, could do but little to give me special medical care. Being a very religious man, he had many friends among the pious Jews who were acquainted with the Chief Rabbi, Dr. Adler, the rabbi who gave me his benediction at my circumcision. His help and influence are exceedingly valuable among the Jewish people.

2. Soon after this I was sent to the eminent Dr. McKenzie, one of the physicians to Queen Victoria, and a specialist on throat and lung diseases. After he gave a diagnosis, he ordered me at once to the National Hospital of Consumption at Ventnor, in the Isle of Wight. Through the help and influence of the rabbi, I was enabled to go, and in this institution I spent seven weeks. While here I came in direct contact with the Christian religion for the first time.

^(p56) 3. I had never, prior to this time, had anything to do with Christianity, only blaspheming and hating it, as I was taught to do. Though I did not increase in piety, my love for Judaism was strong, and my hatred for Christianity was intense. That the reader may have some idea of my feelings in this direction, I will here relate an instance which will serve to show how every Jewish orthodox boy is taught, and how he feels towards Christianity, especially towards converted Jews.

4. There was a man, a countryman of my mother’s, who used to frequent our home. I knew very little about him at first, save that he was an occasional caller. I had learned his name, but knew nothing of his business. I finally was told that he was a believer in Jesus and was a missionary. When I heard that, I felt so hateful towards him that it seemed all I could do to keep from hurting the man. He seemed so hateful to me every time I saw him, that I wished my mother would not allow him to come to our home. I thought how could he, with what he knows of our holy religion and what he has learned about that Jesus, leave our holy religion and join himself to those people who have done us so much harm, and who have persecuted our ancestors so bitterly. What could have led him to do this, unless he received a large salary and had mercenary motives in becoming a turncoat, or as the Jews would call him, a me-shoo-mod. He seemed abominable to me, and I felt that he was not worthy to live.[1]

^(p57)   5.  My mother always told me that, though he was a bad man in believing in Jesus, I must not hurt him for her sake. While I respected her wishes, it seemed as though I could hardly tolerate him. At the Hebrew school the rabbis gave us instruction against Jesus and the Christian people, and taught us to hate His name and the name of His followers with a terrible hatred. We were taught it was right to expectorate While I respected her wishes, it seemed as though I could hardly tolerate him. At the Hebrew school the rabbis gave us instruction against Jesus and the Christian people, and taught us to hate His name and the name of His followers with a terrible hatred. We were taught it was right to expectorate [spit] when we passed a Christian church, and were never allowed to go near a church, to say nothing of entering one. In this way, my feelings grew more bitter in this direction, and the Christian religion was to me a very bad thing. In fact, it was worse to me than it was to any of the rest of my family; for, having been more pious while young than they, I hated it the worse. The more orthodox the Jew is the more he hates Christianity.[2]

In addition to being taught to engender this feeling against Christianity, we were taught that Christian people had no use for our Bible, the Old Testament, for our religion, or for our God. Therefore I felt I had a still greater reason for hating the Christians, and for doing all I could against them.

6. While I was in my early teens a missionary came to visit us, and to invite several of us to attend services at a Jewish mission. I immediately asked the man what a mission was, and he told me that it was a place where they taught the Jews about Jesus. The minute he said the word Jesus, I felt as though I wanted to do the man mischief. Soon the boys began to ridicule the missionary, and to make all manner of fun of the man. ^(p58) He, however, did what he could to convince us that we ought to go to his mission, because he said we would there learn about Jesus and about the true God. I told him that he and all other persons who believed in Jesus were idolators, and I could prove to him that if he believed in the God of the Jews as well as in Jesus, he was worshiping two gods. He replied that he did not worship two gods and he was not an idolater, and I could not convince him that he was following more than one God.

7. I then asked him if he believed in the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. He said he did. I then asked him if he believed in the God who gave the ten commandments on Mount Sinai, and he answered in the affirmative. I then said that our God, the God of the Jews, who gave the ten commandments on Mount Sinai, said that

“The seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord thy God.”

Now we Jews believing in the true God, believe and observe the seventh day for the Sabbath. But you who believe in your God, your Jesus, instead of keeping the seventh day as the Jews do, believe in the first day, and you claim that your Jesus changed the day from the seventh day to the first.

Then I said to him:

8. “Now if it is sin to transgress the law of God, and you say that the reason we need Jesus is because we have transgressed the law and must die, then should we believe Jesus as God when you say He actually changed the law of God? We believe in the one God who gave us the seventh day for the Sabbath. Now if you believe in the same God who says the seventh day is the Sabbath, and also believe in Jesus who changed the Sabbath to the first day, then surely you serve two gods, and you Christian people must be idolators. ^(p59) Either Jesus is a blasphemer, or else Christians serve two gods.”

9. The man looked at me in disgust, and said, I was only a Jew, and was not worth his attention, and away he went. And I thought, That is all there is to the Christian religion, and somehow I felt there was considerable to Judaism after all. This simply intensified my feeling of hatred towards Christ and towards Christianity. Besides this experience, I had very little dealings with Christian people, nor came in direct contact with them until this time when I became a patient at the National Hospital of Consumption. Here, to my surprise, I found people walking around all the time without their hats. This seemed an awful thing to me, as the Jews always wear their hats, especially during meal-time. Here I found they ate food with unwashed hands,[3] and of course this seemed shocking, as it is unlawful for a Jew to eat with unwashed hands; and I supposed they were doing these things contrary to the Bible. Here I found that every day they had prayers, and prayed to this Jesus; and this seemed like blasphemy. I was puzzled and perplexed; for what to do I did not know. I was afraid that God was not pleased that I went there, as I saw so much of idolatry, yet I was sent there through the influence of the Chief Rabbi, Dr. Adler.

10. However the more I mingled with the Christian people, the more I felt that many of them were pleasant and kind, and they wanted to do something to help people. ^(p60) I was afraid to let them know that I was a Jew, as I had always been taught that the Christians everywhere hate the Jews; and if they have an opportunity they will take their life. One experience will illustrate this thought.

11. Just before I went to the hospital, I attended a Jewish medical mission, and was told by the physician that I could never get well unless I underwent an operation. They offered to perform the operation upon me, and would charge me nothing for their services. I could not conceive how Jewish Christians, apostates, could really be kind and unselfish to the Jews, and could not believe that this was exactly the spirit of Christ. I had never read nor even seen a New Testament, and how could I know differently? Some of my friends told me that I ought to have this operation, and if I did it might be my physical salvation. I finally said,

“No, I will never let them do it; for when they get me under the knife then they will tell me I will have to believe in their Jesus; and if I do not, I will die.”

So I concluded that I would rather die than have the missionary’s religion forced upon me.

12. I kept quiet about my religion, and tried to do the best I could while I was at the hospital. But inwardly I felt all the time that the Jewish religion was the only true religion. The chaplain occasionally came to see me, and he spoke very kindly to me. It being a national hospital, the chaplain was of the Church of England faith, Episcopalian. He asked me to come to church, though I was not able to be about very much. I was not improving very rapidly, and it seemed as though I could not live long.

^(p61)  13. One Sunday I decided to enter the church, but I well remember how I feared that God would be displeased with me, and allow some awful thing to happen. I took my seat near the door, it being the first time that I ever entered into such a place. It seemed so strange to see the worshipers entering and kneeling as they went into their pews. I thought they must certainly be idolaters, for the Jews never kneel in prayer, because the Christians kneel; and to the Jew such a form of worship is a sign of idolatry. I concluded, however, that I would stay for the service and behave the best I knew how under the circumstances. After a few moments' waiting, to my surprise there appeared a man at the rear of the church who seemed to be gowned in what looked to me like a night robe. Instead of the gown’s being wholly white, it was partly black and partly white. I began to wonder what was going to happen. I became rather nervous and wished I were out. But I concluded that I must now stay and see the thing to the end. I thought it strange that the man did not wear his clothing. I remained through the service, and felt very thankful that I did not receive a judgment from heaven for going to that church.

14. I must confess that the service of the Christian religion did not impress me very deeply at the time. Very few said anything to me about it while at the hospital. I did not read anything on the subject, and did my best to observe my Jewish religion, though I felt obliged to hide it somewhat under the circumstances.

15. After I had been at the Ventnor hospital about seven weeks, I received word that my father was very ill, and I was obliged to return home. ^(p62) In a short time he passed away, and now I was left an orphan, sick, and having no way of earning a livelihood. The future did not look very bright, and there was not much that made life worth living. I endeavored to be more faithful to Judaism after my father died. At the death of a near relative the family has to mourn seven days. (a)

During this time none of the family is allowed to sit on a chair, or to wear shoes, or to leave the house, or to have any one salute them, or shake them by the hand. They are not allowed to use a comb, or to look into a looking-glass, or even to have a picture hung with the front side to the observer. It is indeed a week of mourning. At the close of this week, every day for fifty-one weeks, prayers have to be said for the dead. These prayers are supposed to help that the departed may not have to suffer too much in gehenna. The prayers are supposed to assist the departed soul. (b)

I attended to these duties very promptly twice a day for an entire year. I had hoped that the Lord would look with favor upon me for so doing and relieve my suffering. But my health did not improve. I tried to work at a light occupation, but found it impossible to accomplish anything. My lungs were so bad at times that I was obliged to wear an inhaler while walking the streets.

16. After counsel with relatives, it was decided that I leave the Old Country, and go to the New World. The physicians said that the ocean trip would accomplish much for my health, and the change to another climate would be a blessing. In a little while I made preparations to leave, and said “Good-bye” to my friends and to England. ^(p63) I realized but little at the time what the trip meant to me; but the Hand that upholds the worlds, the One who guides the planets, the Eye that sees all things, knows the end from the beginning, and works in a mysterious way His wonders to perform.

On to chapter six

EXPLANATORY  NOTES.

PARAGRAPH 15 (a). — This form of mourning is based on the experience of Jacob when word came to him that Joseph had died.  Back

PARAGRAPH 15 (b). — This idea is akin to the experience recorded in the parable of the rich man and Lazarus. See Luke 16: 19-31.  Back

INDEX